Wally Watch: Where we read Wally Hall so you don't have to.
Primary Theme: Chancellor John White is the only person who knows what record the Hogs have to finish with for Houston Nutt to keep his job.
For the "Hard to Argue with" File: "Soon-to-be athletic director Jeff Long might know [if a 7-5 record would save Nutt's job], but since he is currently an adviser to White, he might not know."
We Get It: " ... Nutt's contract is good to 2012. That's 2012. If you missed it, 2012."
Choice Analogy (Three for One Special): "The Razorbacks should roll through the Grove like Sherman did Atlanta. Like Appalachian State did Michigan. Like Bill Callahan did Steve Pederson."
What Team Have You Been Watching?: "The Rebels rank 76th in defending the pass, and since the promise was made to open up the offense this week, the Hogs should be in fine form there."
Our Analysis: A classic Wally effort, one in which he once again careens from point to point. After stating his thesis, he says the Hogs should adopt the spread offense for the next two seasons. Then, he compares Stan Heath's winning percentage to Nutt's and says allowing Nutt to stick around after this year may hurt White's effort to hire more minorities. Then, it's off to a detailed comparison of Ole Miss and Arkansas' stats and to a glance at Arkansas' chances against its remaining opponents. Finally, like a high school student ending a paper, he closes the article by restating a point he made way back at the beginning: "Of course, only Chancellor John White knows if there is even a magic number Houston Nutt needs to win." Our heads are spinning.
Primary Theme: Professor Hall gives his audience bad flashbacks to school by crafting his column in the form of a multiple choice test about the Arkansas-Ole Miss matchup.
Sample Question: If [Ole Miss Coach Ed] Orgeron and Reggie Herring got in a fight before the game, it would: A. Give the Hogs an advantage. B. Give the Rebels an advantage. C. Be worthy of HBO pay-per-view. D. Be a mild surprise." Answer, according to Wally: C.
Sample Question, No. 2: "If [Marcus] Monk plays Saturday, he will have missed: A. Some bad football. B. Some team meetings. C. Two months. D. Breakfast." Answer: C. Um, okay.
Our Analysis: A completely random and bizarre effort. We appreciate his attempt to shake things up, and we love a good game of trivia, but this column feels like Wally found himself slammed up against his deadline without the slightest idea of what he should write about. But, as we think more about it, don't most of Wally's columns seem that way?