A few weeks back, we introduced you to notorious privacy invader and dirty trickster (and rabid Hog fan) Biggs Barker. After spending the Hogs' unexpected bye-week violating the Constitutional rights of god knows how many people, Biggs has filed the following intelligence report on the Crimson Tide and the University of Alabama.

2008 Record: 3-0 (0-0 in the SEC).

Ranking: No. 9 in the AP poll and No. 13 in the USA Today poll.

Head Coach: Nick Saban (10-6 in two seasons at Alabama; 101-48-1 as a college head coach).

The Hogs' series record against Alabama: 8-10.

Did You Know? Technically, the Hogs first victory over Alabama is a game that they actually lost on the field in 1993 by the narrow margin of 43-3. The Crimson Tide later had to forfeit the game as punishment for NCAA violations. Hey, we'll take a victory over Alabama any way we can get it.

Vital Stats: Alabama is averaging 31.7 points per game and 382.7 yards of total offense per game. Opponents are averaging 7.7 points per game and 221.3 yards of total offense per game against the Tide.

Players to Watch: QB John Parker Wilson is passing for 156 yards per game; he has thrown four touchdowns against one interception. Running back Glenn Coffee is averaging 80.7 yards per game on the ground, and freshman wide receiver Julio Jones has caught 10 passes for a total of 107 yards and two touchdowns. Linebacker Rolando McClain leads the team with 21 tackles; safety Rashad Johnson is close behind with 20 tackles.

You Think The Tuscaloosa Campus is Wild Now ... : From the University of Alabama's Wikipedia page: "Early presidents attempted to enforce strict rules regarding conduct. Students were prohibited from drinking, swearing, making unauthorized visits off-campus, or playing musical instruments outside of a one-hour time frame. Yet riots and gunfights were not an uncommon occurrence."

Sur-prise! Sur-prise! Sur-prise!: Guess who's an alum of the University of Alabama? None other than "Andy Griffith" and "Gomer Pyle" star (and singer) Jim Nabors. Other notable non-sports alums include "Forest Gump" author Winston Groom, "To Kill a Mockingbird" author and long-time recluse Harper Lee, and journalistic legend Gay Talese.

If Nick Saban Tells You He Can't Dance, He's Lying: Just watch the man cut a rug. (link courtesy of Deadspin.)

Speaking of Dancing ... : The fella in the clip below sure was happy about Alabama's hiring of Saban.