Yesterday Razorback Expats commenter and occasional contributor J. Hawg 3 treated us to part 1 of his evaluation of this hits and misses of the Hogs' preseason conventional wisdom. It somehow managed to be hilarious, insightful and depressing all at the same time. Continuing with that theme, here's part 2:

6. Houston Dale is going to have a pretty darn good season at Ole Miss, and they'll love him for a year or two. RIGHT. He was left with a stable full of studs lacking leadership and motivation. That's HDN's cup o' tea. Also his cup o' tea: losing embarrassingly to Vanderbilt, then beating Florida in the Swamp. Get used to it, Rebels.

7. Our freshmen wide receivers and running backs are going to be awesome. WRONG. With the receivers, it is easy to see why they are not producing, because futility, thy name is Dick. The running backs, well, were we just misled about Curtis and Johnson? I thought they were bona fide recruits. So far, not.

8. No way we lose to Nutt & Ole Miss or Malzahn & Tulsa; I mean, no F'ing way. WAY. In fact, does anyone think we stand a chance against those two teams? Anyone besides those folks who forgot to take their meds? Nutt has a better team, and he will be totally motivated. We will still be reeling from weeks of getting pounded into crumbly bits of cookie. Malzahn has a similar score to settle, a high-octane offense, and our defense, well, have I mentioned our defense? It really blows.

9. We will get beat up pretty good in Murderer's Row, but will still manage to win 5 or 6 games. PLEASE, SEE YOUR DOCTOR. We have won all of the games we are going to win, with the possible and remote exceptions of Kentucky and Mississippi State. Since both are on the road at stadiums where even good Hog teams have sputtered, I say no way.

10. Yeah, we might look bad now, but give Petrino time and he'll show he was a good choice. RIGHT. I'm still drinking that Kool-Aid. You know, even in the midst of getting killed, we still seem to have more imagination on offense that we did in the entire Nutt Decade. I think he needs to fire Willy Robinson. Maybe even do it right now. But I have hope that eventually he will recruit the right players for his system and get them all on the same page and we'll be vastly improved. This awful season is the price we have to pay. I look for a strong rebound sometime in the third quarter of 2010.

11. Vanderbilt is going to be 4-0 and in the lead in the SEC East after five weeks. RIGHT. As in "Right, no one ever said that." But go 'Dores. If my Hogs are gonna spend some time in purgatory, at least I have my Vanderbilt. At least until they get around to playing all the good teams in the SEC East. A man can dream, can't he?