Wally Watch: January 15 & 16, 2009

by Arkansas Expats on Jan 17, 2009 1:22 AM CST in Wally Hall Comment 10 comments

Wally Watch

Wally Watch: Where we read Wally Hall so you don't have to.

January 15, 2009: Pelphrey can't pull best from Hogs this time

Primary Theme: Wally breaks down the Razorbacks' disappointing loss to Ole Miss like only he can - with folksy analogies.

Breaking it Down, Pt 1: "Saying the Razorbacks got off to a slow start would be like saying this time of year a Delta soybean field isn't much of a tourist attraction."

Breaking it Down, Pt 2: "Shortly after the football celebration - and, yes, it was most likely a coincidence - the basketball team went colder than a Tunica craps table on a Saturday night."

January 16, 2009: Razorbacks have to strike balance to succeed

Primary Theme(s): Dr. Hall prescribes his cure for the ailing Hogs, then weighs in with his opinion on the heated "Just how awesome is Tim Tebow?" debate (Wally, next time just leave a comment on our site).

Say What?: "As exciting as the freshman point guard is, he isn't that good, but Michael Jordan didn't start winning NBA championships until the Chicago Bulls got Scottie Pippen and Horace Grant."

Wally Uses the New Math: "The Razorbacks [open up the middle] by running the offense, which as a rule takes more than one pass - and sometimes it's none - before they fire."

The Extra Work is Always Worth It, Though: One of the fun challenges of analyzing a Wally Hall column is that sometimes you have to read a phrase four or five times before the true meaning sinks in. For example, at first I was confused that he found it "disturbing" that people were googling John 3:16 during the BCS Championship game. But then, after further analysis, it dawned on me that the disturbing part was that so many people had to look up the meaning of the phrase written on Tebow's face. Man, I love it when stuff works on so many different levels like that!

We Probably Would Have Gone with "Verbally": Something about this just sounds a little off..."Tebow, Bradford and McCoy all gave thanks to God orally."

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Only Wally could scramble around and end up with “orally” for giving thanks to God.

by Tab Prewett on Jan 17, 2009 6:57 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

I have to admit, this column ranks up there in Wallyisms. And that’s saying something.

by J. Hawg 3 on Jan 17, 2009 9:20 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

wally’s a hero

by thebeave on Jan 17, 2009 9:21 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

Discussion question: Is there ever a time of year when a Delta soybean field is a big tourist attraction?

by Stephen on Jan 17, 2009 10:24 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

This relates to the concept that craps tables are colder on a Saturday night than say, Monday afternoon. But truly the new math and the oral praise are standouts in a long career.

by J. Hawg 3 on Jan 17, 2009 1:05 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

I really want to know how many pairs of eyes see Wally Hall columns before they run.

Seriously though, I’m kind of scared to weigh in on Wally’s oral fixation.

by The Hog Blogger on Jan 17, 2009 3:07 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Pursuant to legend, Hog Blogger, some poor copyeditor, way in the way way back, changed something in one of Wally’s columns. Wally went ballistic and decreed no one should ever touch one of his columns again.

Even if that has moderated to where copyeditors get to fix typos and the like, they will not fix his usage.

Merely legend, as I say . . .

by J. Hawg 3 on Jan 17, 2009 3:48 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Thanks, guys. After reading each of those two columns, I was wondering where the “Wally Watch” was. I was afraid I was going to have to clip and mail them in to you. They are definitely two of his finest.

Ya’ll hit all the highlights!

I also had to think twice about everyone looking up John 3:16. yep. Real depth and layering there. (Wonder if he knows it)

And,I love Stephen’s discussion question,but even living in the Delta, I’m at a loss!

P.s. If a writer writing is this convoluted, think how he must talk. Has anyone ever had a face to face conversation with this guy?
Orally, I mean.

by cousin lee on Jan 17, 2009 11:20 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Cousin Lee gave me a pretty good idea.

You guys should do an interview with Wally, asking him for advice for everything from Razorback sports to god. That would be some quality? reading.

by CLO on Jan 19, 2009 4:31 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Guys, good Wally analysis as usual. Stephen, the tourist attraction Delta soybean statement reminded me of the time on Green Acres when the town voted to try to get the Olympics to come to Hooterville. Yeah, if you were to put the Olympics in a Chicot county soybean field, then you would have a tourist attraction! haha.

by KevinHog on Jan 19, 2009 5:02 PM CST reply actions 0 recs