Wally Watch: March 31, 2009

by Arkansas Expats on Apr 2, 2009 10:29 AM CDT in Wally Hall Comment 6 comments

Wally Watch

Wally Watch: Where we read Wally Hall so you don't have to.

March 31, 2009: TV deal gives SEC basketball a rebound shot

Primary Theme: The SEC's recent television deal with ESPN will help raise the conference's sagging basketball efforts. Also, something about the auto bailout.

Someone Please Tell Us What This Means: "Looking at the Final Four and realizing there is no team in it close to being west of the Mississippi River was another reminder of how much the SEC has slipped the past two years."

No, Seriously...What Does That Mean?: After years of parsing Wally's fractured grammar, we're finally stumped by the above quote. Surely Wally knows that there is only SEC team west of the Mississippi, right? So what's the connection? Please tell us if you know.

We Wish This Was Our Name: "This time next year, after the NBA Draft, [Hasheem Thabeet's] name also will be millionaire."

Paging Alanis Morisette: We're not sure if this is really all that ironic..."Perhaps there is a touch of irony in the fact Ford Motor Co. put up the bulk of the money to build Ford Field, and that was the American automaker that didn't take any government bailout money."

Our Analysis: One way you can judge whether Wally is in fine form or not is by looking at the first and last paragraphs (usually the same as the first and last sentences) to see if there's any connection whatsoever between them. In that regard, this column really delivers: it begins with that geographically confusing statement about teams west of the Mississippi not making the Final Four, and ends with a note about General Motors canceling its suites and pregame parties during the Final Four. Well done!

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Another excellent Wally analysis, guys! I think Wally could have made his geography point better if he had just said that all the final four schools are Yankee schools except one, and Chapel Hill and the Research Triangle has just about enough Yankees to qualify as north of the Mason-Dixon line.

Is the LSU campus in Baton Rouge on the west side or east side of the river? (Pause for internet search) Google maps says east side. So, yeah, Arkansas is the only school in the SEC west of the Mississippi. So EVERY year Arkansas is the best program west of the Mississippi that’s in the SEC. WOOOO PIGG SOOOIE!!!!!!! haha. Doesn’t that make you feel better about the basketball season? haha.

by KevinHog on Apr 2, 2009 11:44 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Kevin, to be honest I originally had written that there were two teams west of the Mississippi before I decided to map it and found out otherwise. LSU is definitely right there on the border.

Maybe we should redistrict the SEC divisions so that Arkansas is the only team in the SEC West?

-John

by Razorback Expats on Apr 2, 2009 12:03 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

John – In Clay Travis’ excellent Dixieland Delight, about his year of going to every SEC home stadium, he refers to Fayetteville as the Peurto Rico of the SEC. I think he protested a bit too much about Fayetteville being so far away from the other schools, but he still has a point. It is the far western outpost, just like Lexington is the northern outpost.

Yeah, I could handle being the champion of the SEC Western West Division every year. haha. Don’t you know Houston Nutt would have had a ring made for that if he had thought about it. Sorry, I couldn’t resist a dig at Nutt!

by KevinHog on Apr 2, 2009 2:05 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Quote of the week:

“Yeah, I could handle being the champion of the SEC Western West Division every year. haha. Don’t you know Houston Nutt would have had a ring made for that if he had thought about it.”

100 cocktails to you, sir!

Looks like Wally needs a geography lesson.

I really need to read Travis’s “Dixieland Delight.” I’ve been meaning to for a while now.

I was EXTREMELY bored one night, so I decided to Google Maps the distance between Fayetteville and every other SEC school, and then the distance between Fayetteville and every Big XII school. I can post the findings of this very intricate research project if anyone cares to see, but I seriously doubt that’s the case. The long and short of it is: On average, Fayetteville is 273 miles closer to each Big XII school (assuming a scenario where Arkansas replaces Colorado) or 240 miles closer (where Arkansas replaces Iowa St.).

Does this make sense? I don’t think I’ve done a very good job explaining the math.

The point is that we’re MUCH closer to the Big XII schools. MUCH CLOSER. This probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone with a geographical profundity greater than Wally’s, but does somewhat justify the “Puerto Rico” remark by Travis.

Maybe this will spark some debate. What do you guys think? Big XII or SEC? NOTE: This is not an endorsement for jumping ship. I think we’re right where we need to be. Maybe not where we belong, but where we need to be.

by Sue E. Pig on Apr 2, 2009 6:16 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Sue E. Pig, Living in Big 12 country as I do, I think the Hogs should stick with the SEC. A tougher conference, but a better deal tv and money wise. Over the years I’ve been able to watch the Hogs more on tv than I have the Cowboys, and I live right here in Stillwater! The SEC is also the more wealthy of the two conferences.

It would be nice if we were closer to the other SEC schools map wise, but I think we already are closer to them in football and cultural spirit. Though some people might debate you on this, I think we are certainly more Southern than Western.

Admittedly, Arkansas is in a curious situation. It shares borders with three SEC states and three Big 12 states. Maybe we could alternate conferences ever so many years, haha. But right now, playing Texas A&M in Dallas and occassionally the old hated one, Texas, seems like a good compromise.

by KevinHog on Apr 3, 2009 8:33 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I recently started reading your blog and am now wearing a big grin to see some analysis of Wally Hall’s columns (his word for it, not mine!). For far too long this type of discussion has been limited to message boards and water coolers; thank you for bringing the insight to a larger audience. Sometimes I wonder if he just writes random sentences on multiple pieces of paper and then plays a sort-of Scrabble with them. Sheesh.

by Tom on Apr 4, 2009 10:54 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs