Ten Things You Know You'll Hear or See in the SEC this Season
This is the time of year when everybody in SEC Land starts to put on their big Carnac the Magnificent hats and make their predictions about what we'll see in the coming months. Some will be right. Some will be wrong. But I think there are at least ten things that we can count on happening this fall with a pretty high degree of metaphysical certitude.
1.) Gary Danielson will utter the two syllables "Te-bow" in every SEC game he covers on CBS. Go to google and start typing in "Gary Danielson" and you'll get an option of "Gary Danielson Tim Tebow." They are wedded on google just as they are on CBS.
2.) After anything positive that happens to the Razorbacks, some commentator will add the caveat of doubt about just how much longer now will Bobby Petrino stay in Fayetteville. "Michael Smith . . . touchdown! Hogs win! Yeah, Tom, but you know Bobby Petrino is going to be on the phone with his agent after this one."
3.) Steve Spurrier will switch quarterbacks just as sure as the sun will rise over the coastline of the Palmetto State each morning this fall.
4.) College Gameday will visit Gainesville, Florida, at some point.
5.) Certain players will do certain things. LSU's Trindon Holliday will score a touchdown on special teams; Tennessee's Eric Berry will catch an interception; and Alabama's Julio Jones will catch a touchdown pass.
6.) Lane Kiffin will say or do something controversial that Tennessee fans will make excuses for.
7.) An afternoon game on CBS will be decided on a final play of regulation or in overtime. You could put Richard Simmons and Mike Tyson (during his prime) in a ring at that time slot on CBS and it would come down to the last punch. And Gary Danielson will still mention Tebow during the fight!
8.) We will hear plenty about broadcasters, coaches, players, and twitter. Who does and who doesn't tweet.
9.) Coming off its first winning season in decades, Vanderbilt will still have the lowest attendance numbers of any team in the SEC this season.
10.) And most assuredly, the conventional SEC wisdom of the pre-season will somewhere, somehow, turn up looking silly by the end of the season. Remember, Auburn was suppose to win the West last year. Alabama was still a year away of doing anything big. Which, of course, is how it should be and what makes the SEC so thrilling to follow.
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Great List!
11. Steve Spurrier will wrench off his visor with a look of disgust on his face, throw it on the ground, and then stomp on it.
12. Les Miles will go for it in some ridiculous 4th-and-_ situation.
13. Announcers will wonder if Mark Richt has what it takes to win a national championship.
14. Nick Saban will not smile.
15. When broadcasting a UK game...
…the over/under on the John Calipari mentions will be 5.
If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
etc. etc.
16. Various institutions will claim that the other team has a much larger “red neck fan base” than theirs. Only Vandy will be justified.
17. A 8/ 10/ 15 minute segment about Tim Tebow’s missionary work and all around holiness will be played ad nauseum. Supplemented, of course, with “The Speech”
18. An SEC team will blow out another team in a BCS game or marquee season match up. The infamous “ESS EEE SEE” chant will once again establish us as the most hated league in the history of ever.
WARNING small parts that could be a choking hazard
by Wallacewade04 on Jul 21, 2009 1:08 AM CDT up reply actions

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