Rasputin Unveils His Alabama Game Prediction. What's Yours?
by Arkansas Expats on Sep 25, 2009 11:30 AM CDT
in Arkansas Razorback Football
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In anticipation of tomorrow afternoon's battle against Alabama, we consulted Rasputin, our staff soothsayer, to get his forecast for the game. A Russian immigrant who claims to be hundreds of years old and who sleeps every night in a chamber of pure oxygen, Rasputin has been a rabid Razorbacks football fan since the program's debut in 1894 under head coach John C. Futrall.
An exceedingly sensitive and often volatile man, he grows particularly distressed when his crystal ball predicts a Razorback defeat. (He becomes even more distressed when his predictions are correct — his vodka-induced, post-Georgia-game hangover was a sight to behold.) Therefore, it brings him no pleasure to deliver the forecast below:
"Misery - I foresee that those who shower affection on the Hogs will experience many instances of misery on the next afternoon of the day honoring the god of agriculture.
The evil warriors of the land that time forgot will give ample and effective chase to warrior Mallett, making him feel less than comfortable. Alas, he and his band of spirited men will gain periodic entry into the zone that marks the end of the field, but not often enough and far too late for the noble warriors to be declared the victors.
As for the pig-emblazoned warriors charged with defending against the evil warriors, I foresee lots of pain ... but also some moments of effectiveness that may surprise those who commentate on such matters.
The mighty warriors of Alabama - 38, the mighty warriors of Arkansas - 21.
For those tempted to ask the football gods, 'Why doth thou forsake us?,' I say to thee, 'Do not despair, much football to be played.'"
A notorious poor loser, we can only hope that Rasputin will follow his own advice.
Well, enough from him. Let's hear from you:
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I picked Bama
‘Cause picking the hogs would be waaaay optimistic. However, one really fun thing about having such an explosive offense is that if Bama comes out flat, makes some critical mistakes, or lets us hang around, we could score when it counts and win. I think that’s going to be true of any team we play as long as our offense is so potentially potent.
If we hold them
to 38 points, should that be considered a victory for this defense? I voted Alabama because of defense and special teams. They have better players and better coaches for those 2/3rd’s of a team. But I’ll still tune in and scream at the tv, haha, with the hope that still lives and the dream that never dies that the Hogs will win. I think we’ll even the season up at Jerry Land against A&M.
Hah
I like Rasputin
My pick is similar to yours, with Alabama getting a late touchdown to make the game seem easier than it actually was 37 – 24
Terrence Cody drinks your milkshake!
upset!
for no reason whatsoever, other than sheer madness, i’m going with arkansas 31 and bama 27
michael smith has a big day running and catching. crim gets a big pick to seal win.
Rasputin isn't a true Razorback fan.
Otherwise, he would salivating and calling for a huge upset no matter the odds. Bama is obviously superior overall, but hog fever hallucinations force me to call for a big upset in Tuscaloosa.
edit: Okay, I took a couple of Tylenol and the fever is down. I predict that Arkansas will cover the spread at the minimum. Rasputin has them pushing…….come on Ras, don’t ride the fence!
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