Rasputin Unveils His Liberty Bowl Game Prediction. What's Yours?
by Arkansas Expats on Jan 1, 2010 11:32 AM CST
in Arkansas Razorback Football
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In anticipation of tomorrow's battle against East Carolina, we consulted Rasputin, our staff soothsayer, to get his forecast for the game. A Russian immigrant who claims to be hundreds of years old and who sleeps every night in a chamber of pure oxygen, he has been a rabid Razorbacks football fan since the program's debut in 1894.
An extremely sensitive and volatile man, ole Raz fell into a deep depression following the regular-season-ending defeat to LSU. However, after weeks of sleeping, drinking and weeping the day away, he has been re-energized by the winter solstice - a most important day in the soothsaying community - and by the countdown to the Liberty Bowl.
Here is his prognostication:
"'Tis bowl season, which usually produceth much angst and melancholy among those who cheer for the pig-emblazoned warriors. But this year shall be different.
Offense, offense - I foresee both teams making plenty of entries into the zones that mark the end of the field - particularly since two of our starting defensive warriors did not display the requisite discipline and focus to be eligible for battle.
The battle shall not be easy, and there will be plenty of moments of anxiety and distress. But a new year shall bring about a new result in bowl games. The mighty warriors of Arkansas 38, the mighty warriors of East Carolina 31."
Well, that's enough from Rasputin. Let's hear from you, both in the poll and in the comments thread.
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We have been infiltrated.
Consider this a call to arms!
by Stephen Expat on Jan 1, 2010 4:14 PM CST up reply actions
What do you expect from a bunch of Pirates? haha
Losing DD Jones and then the two curfew breakers, that is going to hurt this already suspect defense of ours. With our history in bowls, we don’t need any extra challenges. I can’t believe those two guys thought spending a few more hours of Memphis nightlife (which will be there after this game) was more important than playing in the bowl game. Shame on them!
Still, I say the Hogs get a win, probably much like Ras described. Both teams scoring a lot of points. I just hope it isn’t as nerve racking as what it must have been like for those Auburn fans who experienced the Outback bowl. Geez.
EZU
I predict Ryan Mallett will throw for 400 yards against the Pirates’ woeful secondary.
It’s a universal truth that anybody with any allegiance to a school thinks that fans from every other school are awful. But rest assured that East Carolina fans are a special breed. With a major inferiorty complex from enduring references to EZU (their admissions and curriculum are E-Z) and ECTC (formerly East Carolina Teaching College — for women), they are delisuional in their aspirations for becoming a big-time program and showing everybody else who ever kicked sand in their faces.
I’ve watched 14-year-old EZU fans give the finger to my dad. I’ve seen their t-shirts: “One in the poo, two in the goo, c’mon SHOCK ’em ECU!” And they take the pirate thing a little too seriously. Argh, and all that.
It’s a long flight and a much longer drive from Memphis back to Greenville, NC. Please, Razorbacks, make it an even longer trip back for the Pirate faithful. The rest of us in the North State will be eternally grateful. Or at least we’ll get a good chuckle for the umpteenth time.
thanks for the inspiration
Tarheel Willie, that added a lot to this week’s Reasons to Hate – much obliged.
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