Rasputin Unveils His Kansas State Prediction. What's Yours?
by Arkansas Expats on Jan 6, 2012 8:52 AM CST
in Arkansas Razorback Football
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Needless to say, Rasputin, our deeply moody staff soothsayer, took the loss to LSU incredibly hard. He stayed in bed for weeks, with the most searing Russian vodka imaginable his only sustenance. Only after our in-house doctor subjected him to a comprehensive regimen of acupuncture, Omega-3 fatty acids, SAM-e, Rhodiola, St. John's wort and shiatsu massage, did Raz start to come around.
Also needless to say, he is nervous about this game. He's viewed every single Razorback bowl game, either in person or on television, and has suffered many a broken heart as a result of the Hogs' countless miserable performances. Rasputin, who attended the last match-up between these two programs - an October 1967 Razorback victory in War Memorial Stadium - with a bizarre conglomeration that included members of the Strawberry Alarm Clock, Civil War historian Shelby Foote and Richard Nixon's daughter Julie, delivered the following prognostication via homing pigeon from Petit Jean Mountain, a place that he has always found very meaningful:
Perched on the mountaintop, I welcome a new winter's day.
With the ghost of my beloved French girl tucked gently into my arms,
I stare wide-eyed in appreciation of the Earth's natural charms.
My thoughts drift to Dallas town and the game it will host tonight,
My pulse begins to quicken, and my spine shivers with fright.
A bowl game it is and terror I fear it will bring,
A song of pain and loss, I worry we all will sing.
But Jean begins to giggle and then I hear her say,
'Don't fret darling Raz, it is finally a new day.'
A slow start - yes, this I believe we'll see
and young Collin will no doubt run frustratingly free.
Points will be abundant, and our nerves will definitely fray,
but a motivated group of Hog seniors will all have a big day.
My heart begins to swell as I sense a bowl victory at last,
Jean and I lead a spirited Hog Call with a ghost of a governor past.
'Woo Pig Sooie' we joyfully shout and cheer,
and toast a Cotton Bowl win with stale Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.
the most honorable Wildcat warriors of Kansas State - 28."
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It is good to see Raz...
because that means it is game day! 45-31, Hogs!
by coastalrazorback on Jan 6, 2012 11:24 AM CST reply actions
Acupuncture...
Give him some of the acupuncture they used in The God Complex. Then we’ll win the next game for sure!
by Author Bookshelf on Jan 6, 2012 12:01 PM CST reply actions
Let's add first quarter of the LSU game
to the second half of the Southwest Classic (and last year’s Sugar Bowl) and we should do just fine.
Nice!
Just an FYI, we’ve only had two games decided by 10 points or more. Whoever wins will do it by a touchdown or less.
Unless KState wins.
Then we’ll win by elevenbajillion.
/trollhardordonttrollatall
When life hands you lemons, make grape juice. Let them wonder how the F*ck you did it.
Fight till Hell freezes over and then fight them on the ice.
Ha ha ha
I could see a blowout for the Hogs, but it isn’t likely. I still don’t know what happened to the Cats that made them roll over and play dead in the 2nd half against OU, but that’s the only time we’ve seen that all year.
I voted for a KSU win (like I’m going to vote for Arkansas?) but I have no idea what’s going to happen. Here’s hoping the new Arkie coaches aren’t comfortable yet!
"If you don't want to work, become a reporter. That awful power, the public opinion of the nation, was created by a horde of self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditch digging and shoemaking and fetched up journalism on their way to the poorhouse." - Mark Twain
BOYCOTT ESPN!
bad news...
the “new” Offensive Coordinator is the “old” Offensive Coordinator (who taught the most recent OC the Petrino system)
"I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."
Yeah, it's a good thing your old coach stayed to coach this game
but Charlie Weiss should be good for you all next year.
don't care about the score as long as the hogs win!
Watching at buffalo wild wings in Augusta, ga! Go hogs go!
by HogInAiken on Jan 6, 2012 5:21 PM CST via iPhone app reply actions
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