Needless to say, Rasputin, our deeply moody staff soothsayer, took the loss to LSU incredibly hard. He stayed in bed for weeks, with the most searing Russian vodka imaginable his only sustenance. Only after our in-house doctor subjected him to a comprehensive regimen of acupuncture, Omega-3 fatty acids, SAM-e, Rhodiola, St. John's wort and shiatsu massage, did Raz start to come around.
Also needless to say, he is nervous about this game. He's viewed every single Razorback bowl game, either in person or on television, and has suffered many a broken heart as a result of the Hogs' countless miserable performances. Rasputin, who attended the last match-up between these two programs - an October 1967 Razorback victory in War Memorial Stadium - with a bizarre conglomeration that included members of the Strawberry Alarm Clock, Civil War historian Shelby Foote and Richard Nixon's daughter Julie, delivered the following prognostication via homing pigeon from Petit Jean Mountain, a place that he has always found very meaningful:
Perched on the mountaintop, I welcome a new winter's day.
With the ghost of my beloved French girl tucked gently into my arms,
I stare wide-eyed in appreciation of the Earth's natural charms.
My thoughts drift to Dallas town and the game it will host tonight,
My pulse begins to quicken, and my spine shivers with fright.
A bowl game it is and terror I fear it will bring,
A song of pain and loss, I worry we all will sing.
But Jean begins to giggle and then I hear her say,
'Don't fret darling Raz, it is finally a new day.'
A slow start - yes, this I believe we'll see
and young Collin will no doubt run frustratingly free.
Points will be abundant, and our nerves will definitely fray,
but a motivated group of Hog seniors will all have a big day.
My heart begins to swell as I sense a bowl victory at last,
Jean and I lead a spirited Hog Call with a ghost of a governor past.
'Woo Pig Sooie' we joyfully shout and cheer,
and toast a Cotton Bowl win with stale Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.
the most honorable Wildcat warriors of Kansas State - 28."
Who will win tonight's Cotton Bowl?
Kansas State (20 votes)
Arkansas (103 votes)
123 total votes