There are few Arkansas traditions more heart-warming than combing through the records of a Razorback football coach's university-issued phone for evidence of an extramarital affair. My late grandfather used to grow positively misty-eyed as he recalled his bootlegger father gathering the family around the wood stove to pour over documents detailing Francis Schmidt's inappropriate calls to one floozy or another.

Well, folks, let us return to what makes us Arkansans: records of Bobby Petrino's university-issued cell phone have been released. And they ain't pretty. And possibly down right disturbing.

All kidding aside, it is absolutely amazing that after Houston Dale Nutt's travails, another Razorback coach would be so stupid as to use his publicly funded phone to conduct an affair. It truly boggles the mind. As my friend John Expat said, "It turns out Petrino wasn't that much smarter than Houston Dale."