"Derek Dooley is absolutely Louie. He seems like the kind of guy whom you’d call on a given day and ask him how he’s doing and he’d say, "I’m fine. I’ve had a stupid day." Then, when he was sneaking a smoke while sitting on the toilet next to the open window, he’d explain how his quarterback was in court for "hot dogging" on a jet ski, or he kicked off his top returning receiver for a bunch of failed drug tests, or he still hasn’t gotten over this."