Tonight the Hogs play on ESPN (9 PM Eastern) Vanderbilt in Bud Walton Arena to what I expect will be a loud and jumping crowd. Note to crowd, you all need to have your "We Want You DGB!" signs made and ready for tonight, haha. Vanderbilt brings a 2-0 road record to Fayetteville. The only other team to go undefeated on the road in the SEC is No. 1 Kentucky. Arkansas has not lost a conference game at home, but Vanderbilt is one of the rare conference teams to have a home loss. And that brings us to today's trivia question, a rare basketball trivia question from me. After 39 conference games as of yesterday, just how hard to win on the road in the SEC this year do you think it is? The answer is in the comment section.

Our crack staff of interns have pulled off another one this year by hacking into Santa's main database up in the North Pole to find out what each team in the SEC has asked for and what they can expect to get. Amazingly, such actions are allowed by the NCAA, but our interns better not ever get caught giving a player a ride to the airport. They've been warned repeatedly against doing such a thing so low and dastardly as that. Texas A&M and Missouri, by the way, are still listed in the Big 12 section of Santa's database, so we don't have any information on them, but for each team currently in the SEC, our interns have provided us with the information I am sharing below. As you'll see, Santa is something of a mercurial fellow about what teams wish for and what they actually get. Enjoy the read before you retire for the night with dreams of Razorback gifts under the tree come Christmas morning. From me and the interns here at Arkansasexpats, a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

ALABAMA:

Wish: Radio controlled footballs that Nick Saban's staff can control right through the uprights on field goals and extra points. Barring that, Adam Vinatieri secretly dressed out in an Alabama uniform come January the 9th.

Get: All the hate mail that Santa got from Oklahoma State fans upset that Santa didn't get them a spot in the national championship game. It was on their wish list, and the Pokes had been good this year. What happened, they wonder.

AUBURN:

Wish: For the trees at Toomer's Corner to survive another year.

Get: A lump of coal for Harvey Updyke and more than one season in Hell for Harvey to watch it burn.

LSU:

Wish: For all the starters to get through the lead up to the national championship game in New Orleans without getting arrested or suspended.

Get: Santa is going to provide a year's worth of cologne and perfume to go along with a year's supply of corndogs.

SOUTH CAROLINA:

Wish: For their rival Clemson to fail miserably in the Orange Bowl.

Get: Not a mouse a stirring the night before the bowl game at the Gamecock hotel, for Santa will make sure that Stephen Garcia is partying elsewhere. It looks like possibly Charlie Sheen's house.

ARKANSAS:

Wish: For the new defensive coordinator, Paul Haynes, to be the best assistant hire the Hogs have made since Wilson Matthews joined Broyles' staff.

Get: The Hogs get their own reserved parking space at Cowboys Stadium thanks to their frequent appearances in Arlington.

FLORIDA:

Wish: For a time machine to go back in time and do whatever it takes to keep Cam Newton at Florida as Tebow's successor.

Get: Santa gets each Gator fan Denver Bronco ticket order forms.

GEORGIA:

Wish: Sticky fingers for their Bulldog receivers in the bowl game against Michigan State. And a repeat of that defense we saw in the first half of the SEC Championship game.

Get: A giant sculpture on Stone Mountain of Mark Richt giving his detractors in the Georgia fanbase the finger.

OLE MISS:

Wish: For a certified letter from Santa saying that the 2011 season (2-10) is the rock bottom in Oxford.

Get: T-shirts that say, "My administration spent millions on a second rate coach from Arkansas and all we got were Cotton Bowl t-shirts."

KENTUCKY:

Wish: No rinky dink bowl game to distract the fans for a moment from the basketball season.

Get: No rinky dink bowl game to distract the fans for a moment from the basketball season. Thanks, Joker!

MISSISSIPPI STATE:

Wish: Back to back bowl wins for the first time since . . . the cows started to come home. That or Houston Nutt anywhere on Hugh Freeze's staff.

Get: Santa is going to fly down a design team from Nike to help insure that nobody next year confuses the maroon and white cow college from Starkville with the maroon and white cow college from College Station. New uniforms for the cowbell ringers!

VANDERBILT:

Wish: For Coach Franklin to grow redwood type roots in Nashville.

Get: Tickets to all the museums in Memphis and free admission to the regional Modern Language Association's conference in Memphis on existentialism in the modern Scandinavian novel. Certain players will be invited to serve on the panel itself.

TENNESSEE:

Wish: For that *#$&@* black cloud that has been hanging over Knoxville in recent years to go away.

Get: A promise from Lane Kiffen that he'll pay for the Board of Trustees and select members of the Volunteer family to attend next year's national championship game to see USC and Matt Barkley take on a team that is not the Volunteers. That and some new orange pants, with fire resistant material on the bottom, for Derek Dooley.

The weather has turned in this part of the country to jacket weather, and in reply I got out my heavier jacket a few weeks ago to discover on a scrap piece of paper within my inside pocket my predictions for last year's SEC related bowl games. Hmm, you might decide to not pay any attention to what I am about to write down below, haha. That's a nice way of putting it that I missed the mark quiet a few times. But my gut says that St. Peter doesn't have your bowl predictions in front of him at the Pearly Gates and isn't going to determine your entry based on them, so for the fun of it, here I go again at trying to determine which SEC teams are going to get bowl victories this year. I'll leave the thousand other bowl games to others, for those would be even more of wild guesses than what I am about to write. In honor of Bowl Season starting this weekend, here are my picks for the SEC.

MUSIC CITY BOWL (ESPN December 30th - 6:40 Eastern) Wake Forest (6-6) vs. Miss. State (6-6) - In some alternative universe Jim Grobe is coaching the Hogs in the Music City Bowl this year. Thank Gawd I don't live in it! haha. I much prefer this Petrino universe that I live in. After thrashing Michigan in the Gator Bowl last year, this has to be something of a let down for MSU fans. Wake Forest? But they are going to be even more disappointed when their Bulldogs still manage not much of anything on offense and lose the Music City Bowl, a bowl that the SEC does not traditionally win. I am going, unfortunately, with tradition and an ACC victory here. Wake Forest might be located in the east, but it is not an SEC East team, Dan Mullen's specialty. Grobe's few hours as an SEC West coach before he changed his mind is enough to beat Mullen, who has only beaten one SEC West team, Ole Miss. (Hey, I didn't say these were scientific predictions! As if they there could be such a thing with bowl games.)

LIBERTY BOWL (ABC December 31st - 3:30 Eastern) Cincy (9-3) vs. Vandy (6-6) - Don't be fooled by Cincy's better record. They are still from the Big East, and I think that is reason enough to pick the team with the worse record from the SEC to win. Yeah, I am going with Franklin and his Dores in this one. Motivation plays such a large part in these games, and I see the Vanderbilt players being really jacked up about being in a bowl game period. They'll come out in Memphis with more fire. And they'll need it if it is as cold as it was when the Hogs last played in the Liberty Bowl. If there is any reason to pick the Bearcats, I think it would be the fact that this is Franklin's first bowl game as a head coach. Still, Vandy gets bowl win number two in recent years.

FAST FOOD CHICKEN BOWL (ESPN December 31st 7:30 Eastern) Virgina (8-4) vs. Auburn (7-5) - Auburn has been going through coaching changes in the off season as well as a Michael Dyer suspension. Combine that with an 8-4 Virginia team out for a rare nine win season, and I think you have Chizik looking more and more like the coach who was 5-15 (I think) at Iowa State. Sorry Tigers, I see Virginia winning this one. That is unless you can secretly dress out Cam Newton for the game.

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Colonel Nutt is soon to be just Houston Nutt again after it was announced that he will no longer be the head coach at Ole Miss after the end of the season. So it goes. I have to say that I think the SEC is losing one of its true characters. But if I were an Ole Miss fan, I know I would prefer winning over all that makes Houston Nutt one of the least boring head coaches to lead a team in the SEC. That is what Arkansas fans wanted too - wins on a more consistent basis than not and was more than willing to take on a less dynamic personality to get them. With a twelve game SEC losing streak, it is really no shocker that Ole Miss would fire Nutt. I am sure that he isn't looking to a blog for career advice, but knowing Houston Nutt the football character more than Houston Nutt, the man, admittedly, I thought I would make some suggestions anyway.

1.) Head Coach of the Memphis Tigers: The Tigers are having another awful season. And Houston has proven that he can come in and pump up a team at least for a spell and get them to winning again. Other benefits include the fact that his wife can keep her horse farm in Mississippi and be near to it, and Houston Nutt can look across the river and see where he is exiled from and give Arkansas the finger from atop the Peabody hotel anytime he wants. Plus, the University of Memphis through its basketball program knows something about dealing with coaches that come with controversy.

2.) Spokesman for the National Rope Manufacturers Association: I can see the grin and the slogan, "The Coach Who Taught His Players Never To Let Go Of The Rope."

3.) Return to his old job at Boise State: That Chris Peterson hasn't done anything with the Broncos, right? haha, yeah right! Or how about go back to his alma mater, Oklahoma State? They need a revival right? haha.

4.) A high school teacher in an American inner city: Nutt has long claimed that he is really all about making a difference in the lives of young people. Would he be willing to follow the footsteps of his parents and do that for say $35,000 a year? Does Jimmy Sexton make those type of deals?

5.) My personal favorite option is this one here: Write, direct, and star in "Elmer Gantry" the movie. He already has acting credits in "The Blindside" and "Family Guy" as Quagmire.

6.) With his many millions, he could start and run a foundation to assist his former college quarterbacks who never really became all that "special" get a new start in life.

7.) Houston Nutt could run for the Republican nomination for president. I think he would actually add some gravitas and leadership experience to the current field of candidates.

8.) I imagine this is Nutt's favorite option and the reason he asked to stay on through the end of the season. He could beat number one LSU, just like in 2007, and then ask Jimmy Sexton to find him another SEC team to snap him up  like Ole Miss did. I can see the pitch. "Texas A&M, Sherman only coaches one half of ball. You'll need a coach that can coach a whole game in the SEC. Need one with SEC experience? Well, Houston Nutt would love to be an Aggie. He really always has been one, you know." And Texas A&M would probably have a pretty good team as long as Sherman's players were in the majority. Probably get a Cotton Bowl win or two.

9.) Roller Coaster Operator: I am pretty sure Nutt would have had Ole Miss back in a bowl game next year and the year after, but then he would have two bad years after that. The man is a roller coaster of a coach. And, yeah, put a pack of cigarettes under the sleeve of a white t-shirt, throw on a few tattoos, and I can see Houston Nutt running a roller coaster as a carney.

10.) City Tour Guide for the Dallas Metropolitan area: Think about it. He could lead tours by the Cotton Bowl and by Cowboy Stadium and point out where a certain coach beat Texas in the Cotton Bowl and won back to back Cotton Bowls at Ole Miss. While wearing his trademark plantation hat, he could then tell Chinese tourists that there is no bigger game in all of college football than the Cotton Bowl itself.

Okay, now what suggestions do you have? And if you think I was being a bit harsh on poor old Houston Dale, just remember that he walks away from Ole Miss more the millionaire than he was before. Houston is going to be okay. And however he reincarnates himself, expect some headlines and drama of some kind to follow.

College football fans will naturally be turning their eyes to Tuscaloosa this weekend as LSU and Bama go after one another in Hector vs. Achilles fashion. But at the same  time, literally unfortunately, there will be a top ten match-up in Fayetteville only for the second time since 1979 when Arkansas goes to battle with South Carolina. The last top ten match-up was September 25th 2010. We hope things turn out better for the Hogs this time. I'll have one television in one room carrying the Hogs and a television in another room carrying LSU vs. Bama and will probably walk a groove in the hardwood floor pacing back and forth, haha. Here's a poll for you to weigh in on what you think will be the outcome of the second most important (in our eyes) top ten SEC matchup of next weekend.

Here it is again, the Friday before a game of SEC battles that will represent, can you believe it, the midway point of the season for the Hogs. How quickly the college football season zooms by! Maybe Ken Starr and Baylor will sue the months of September, October, and November for not being long enough? haha. Moving on. Last week I was 5-1 with my own crystal ball having failed you guys in saying that South Carolina would beat Auburn in a close one. I should have known better. It is now in the SEC by-laws, I believe, that Auburn is entitled to win all the close games they play. So, Hogs, don't flirt around with a close game against the Tigers. Get up on them quick and stay up on them, at a considerable distance! With that said, on to my SEC picks for this coming weekend.

KENTUCKY at SOUTH CAROLINA or No Joke Flathead vs. The OLD (not Ole) Ball Coach (SEC NETWORK 12 PM Eastern) - Vegas says South Carolina by 21 points. I suppose Vegas has some faith in Connor Shaw (Gracia has been yanked once again) and probably even less faith in the Kentucky offense without Randell Cobb. Can you even name the current Kentucky quarterback? I can't! I think South Carolina at home gets a good enough game out of Shaw, but not 21 points better than Kentucky. South Carolina will under-perform again this week, but the change will be that they will win. Kentucky is that bad.That is no surprise that Kentucky is bad. Arkansas doesn't play them this year. Joker just needs to hang on until we arrive on Kentucky's schedule again. Somehow, Kentucky will be good that year. Arkansas, yeah, 2-4 record against Kentucky. Uggh.

MISSISSIPPI STATE at UAB or The Team That Nearly Lost to LA Tech vs. The Team That Has Watched A Lot Of LA Tech vs. MSU Tape (SPORTSOUTH 12 PM Eastern) - Vegas says MSU by 19 points. Did you catch that? Our Bulldogs are going on the road for this one. Dan, talk to your A.D. As long as you are taking road trips to play teams like UAB, you are never going to move up in the SEC pecking order. The UABs of the world are suppose to come play you at your place. I think MSU will pay for this by having their share of struggles, especially on offense, but UAB is not a Western Division team of the SEC, so the Bulldogs should still pull out a win. Say by ten to fourteen points, but not nineteen or over. Something is rotten in the State of Starkville right now. I just hope they don't get it corrected until after we play them.

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I know I am getting these in rather last minute, so if you were waiting to make a trip to the bookie solely based upon my visions of the future, I apologize for the delay, and then I have to say, "You must be fool crazy," a phrase from a former English teacher of mine, believe it or not. Actually, I am off to a 6-1 start having seen Auburn's loss to Clemson, a tight victory by South Carolina over Navy, and the Dores beating Ole Miss, though by a much larger margin than I or anybody saw coming. I was wrong as well about Kentucky getting the best of Charlie Strong. I took last weekend off from the prediction game, but I am back, and this is what I see for Saturday in the SEC. 

MISS. STATE at GEORGIA - Dog Eat Dog (FSN 12 PM Eastern) - Vegas says Georgia by 7 - Miss. State seems to have run out of the mojo created by their win over Michigan in the Gator Bowl and have gone back to being Miss. State again. That means pretty much no offense. Though Dan Mullen has not beaten any SEC West team outside of Ole Miss, he does have a better track record with Eastern teams. But Georgia at home with Aaron Murray, I have to go with the Eastern Bulldogs on this one. And I believe you gamblers can count on Georgia covering as well. 

KENTUCKY at LSU - The Team From The Bluegrass State vs. The Team Whose Coach Eats Grass (SEC Network 12 PM Eastern) - Vegas says LSU by 30.5 - I can't imagine many of us Hog fans will be tuning in for this one, for the Hogs will be kicking off at the same time. The LSU / Kentucky game is not one that you think of very often when you think of SEC matchups, but it has produced some memorable games. Who can't forget the scene at Commonwealth Stadium when LSU won the game with a Hail Mary pass while the Kentucky bench and fans were too busy celebrating a victory that wasn't. And then Kentucky got its revenge by beating LSU in overtime in 2007. The only advantage Kentucky has here is that it is an early kickoff in Baton Rouge. Expect the Tigers and their fans to be sluggish, but they get it done in the end, but not by 30.5 points. Say, something just under that. 

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When, several weeks ago, the scenarios required for Arkansas to make a BCS bowl began appearing, they seemed almost too far-fetched to invest much hope in: the Hogs had to beat three ranked teams (two of those games on the road), mighty Alabama had to lose twice and Auburn had to win out. And yet, here we are...heading to the Sugar Bowl to defend the SEC's honor against perennial conference punching bag Ohio State.

Make no mistake about it - this is a huge step forward for the program. After years of fans fervently hoping for a breakthrough that would usher the Razorback into the top tier of the SEC, it's finally happened. And, although nothing is certain, they seem poised to make a nice stay there: rather than hoping to occasionally play above their level and knock off a highly-ranked team, they now expect to win every game. Big victories are beginning to feel more like a tough team taking care of business than glorious, out-of-the-blue miracles.

We'll have much more to say about all that (and the actual game against Ohio State) in the coming weeks, but for now let's take a breath and savor how far we've come in just two years. Very, very impressive.

And, of course, none of this would have been possible without a big win today by our frenemies over at Auburn. Special thanks are due to Cam Newton, Gus Malzahn, Gene Chizik's sideburns groomer, the mysterious booster who kindly donated the money to help rebuild Cecil Newton's church, the NCAA compliance investigators and all the other Tigers out there who contributed.

Woo Pig Sooie!